I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Come share oat with me in your robe
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
