I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
be right there i have to get my cape
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
