You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
