So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
