remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
