Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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