Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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