Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
