I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
