Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
