I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
