I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
