Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Come see our sink grown plant.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
