you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
