Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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