Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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