If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
