Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
