i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
