I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
