I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So much rum. So many feels.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Randomize
