you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
