No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
