her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
