the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i dont even know how to be here
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize