all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
