Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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