i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
