I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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