I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If that was your dad, he is hot
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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