I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
