you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
