If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
