Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
