no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
