Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
