i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think I won the penis lottery.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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