I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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