Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
