Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
