you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize