Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
