I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
