you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
