goodnight i made you a song goodbye
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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