in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
pray to the hookup gods
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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