there were more penises there than on chat roulette
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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