I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
COCAINE IS GR8
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
