I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
