Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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