The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
