you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
