she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
