CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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