i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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