Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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