also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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