if i died would you start the facebook group?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
