i always forget guys have bellybuttons
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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