you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
