Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
