Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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