he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you will always have a special place in my vag
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
