he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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