Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize